Finding our Daughter!!!

At the end of October, I was once again visiting our adoption agency's waiting children site.  I frequently looked at the children and prayed that they would find their forever family.  On this particular day, however, one little girl stood out and tugged on my heart.  I showed her picture to Steve.  I often showed him pictures of the waiting children.  He seemed to react differently to her, though. 

It wasn't long after that, that we decided to inquire from our agency if they would consider us to adopt her.  It was against our agency's policy to adopt out of birth order....she was 6 and Jake was 4.  We felt we needed to at least ask.  I needed to get her out of my head.  That was a Thursday....

Friday, our adoption consultant said she would ask the director and get back to us.

All weekend I thought and prayed.  Is this what God wanted for us?  I prayed for a roadblock if it wasn't.  I prayed for wisdom and peace.  By Sunday, I mentioned to Steve that I would be really disappointed if this didn't work out.  He said "me too".

Monday morning I get an e-mail saying they would consider us but they had several action items for us to do.  One item was to call our social worker and after discussing it with her, to have her call them.  I was busily trying to accomplish everything they had asked us to do.  That afternoon, the phone rang, it was our consultant.  I assumed she was calling to discuss the 6 year old we were pursuing.  Instead, much to my surprise, she said our name finally came up for a referral....a healthy 4 year old girl.  We had to decide that day if we would accept her or continue to pursue the 6 year old.  I couldn't believe it.  The "call" that I had been waiting for over a year had finally come but I wasn't jumping for joy.  Thankfully, Steve was in a meeting when I told him the news, so he said he had to call me back.  That gave me time to think and pray.  By the time Steve called back, I knew my decision, I just hope his matched mine.  Again, we were united in our decision.  God had put this little girl on our heart and why would a referral change that.  I immediately called back to decline the 4 year old, knowing that if we weren't approved for the 6 year old we'd go back on the waiting list.

By Wednesday, I had accomplished everything they gave me to do and our decision hadn't changed.  It was driving me crazy.  I needed to know what they thought.  How long until they decide?  I called them.  Fortunately, our consultant was going into a meeting with the director and would call us in an hour.  After a seemingly long hour, the phone rang....we were approved!

Let's get the ball rolling to bring her home!

Starting the Adoption Process

It seemed like a very long time while Steve thought and prayed whether we should adopt or not. Daily, I was praying for Steve to have wisdom...and me, patience! I didn't want to "push" Steve into it. In fact, I was praying that Steve would say "no" if it's not what God wanted for us (and that God would give me the grace to handle it). I have always seen Steve and I as a team. If we couldn't be completely united in this decision, I didn't want any part of it.


Finally, Steve gave me the green light! I was elated! I had already read an entire book on adoption (which was my first book since I lost my sight), so I knew we had a lot of decisions to make. I was excited to finally dig in and start the process. I presented lots of information to Steve and we talked and talked and talked.....and prayed and prayed and prayed. We finally decided to use Children't Hope International and adopt a child from Ethiopia. When beginning the journey, I was drawn to adopting an older child (about 6). A couple things made it seem like that wouldn't happen, though. We got scared as we learned about attachment disorders and having a child that could never show love to us. Then our agency had a policy that they didn't want you to adopt a child out of birth order (that meant she would have to be younger than Jake).

After much work preparing the dossier, it was great to finally be put on the waiting list. Unfortunately, there were lots of others in front of us. I think we were 86 or so on the waiting list....Yikes!

Our dossier was submitted 10/08 and I remember getting an e-mail from our caseworker on 8/09 telling us we were number 21 on the list. To me, that wasn't very good news. Almost a year had transpired and we still had 20 families in front of us.  I tried to be patient and we prayed a lot for our daughter. Even though I had no idea who she would be, I prayed that she would be protected and loved. I knew God was watching out for her.

If you want to walk on water.....

Well, I was really stumped on this one!



I really didn't feel like God was calling me to adopt. After all, taking care of our three kids was already a lot of work! But, I vowed to keep an open mind to His leading and to pray about it.



Now, work was really busy, and I must admit Shelly was thinking and praying about this way more than me. But then, God pulled a really dirty trick..... As a Small Group Leader in our church, we started to read a book called, "If you want to walk on water, you've gotta get out of the boat", by John Ortberg. In this book and DVD study, Ortberg used Matthew 14:25 - 32 to illustrate that true faith in Christ is not demonstrated by staying in the boat and waiting for him to help us. Instead, he wants us to step out of the boat (even while the storms are still blowing) and trust him. Peter did that (at least at first). He obeyed Christ and stepped out in faith even while the waves were crashing around him.



During the course of this study, I became more aware of what was holding me back from saying yes to Shelly. Basically, it all boiled down to fear vs. faith. I had lots to fear about adopting a child.... fears of what the child would be like, what her background would be, what baggage she would carry into our family. Fears of Shelly having a re-lapse and then I'd be a father of 4 kids AND a blind or disabled wife again. All of these fears were juxtaposed against my faith.... I knew God was capable of handling all these things and more, but was I convinced he would?



After several months of praying, thinking and reading, I honestly didn't feel God leading me in either direction. In all honesty, I never did "hear his voice". However, the more I talked to Shelly and the more I read about "getting out of the boat" the more convinced I became that my wife was experiencing a direct calling from God. I knew that she was being obedient to His leading, just like Peter was. Who was I to get in the way of that! Since I searched my soul and could find no good reason to say no, and since I was sure that this was God's leading on my wife's heart, I finally told Shelly "yes" in December of 2007.



Our adoption journey had officially begun......

You want to what??!!!! Steve's adoption journey begins....

If you've read Shelly's first post, you know that we had been on quite a journey from 2001 to 2006. Seeing someone you love get diagnosed with a debilatating disease and then slowly fade into complete blindness was heart wrenching, to say the least.

Shelly's Story - My Adoption Journey Begins

Blind Faith? What's that all about, you might be thinking. Well, for most people, deciding to adopt a child is a huge decision that requires a ton of faith.................... For me, blind faith has a dual meaning.